Supporting your Student’s Learning Now and Throughout the Year
Support the learning environment. This fall, teachers will be spending time helping students adjust to their new classroom, surroundings, or grade expectations to ensure everyone has a positive and productive year. Families too, can support these efforts by familiarizing themselves with many aspects of the school environment such as rules, routines, and grade level expectations. Talk to your student about the school or classroom rules and routines, as well as the excitement of making new friends. Listening to your child’s story about how they experience the school day is an important way to discover how they think and approach learning. If you anticipate upcoming challenges your student may experience, it’s important to contact the teacher early in the year to discuss ways to support your child’s success.

Getting back to basics – the school year routine! Enough cannot be said about a predictable schedule for young preschool and elementary school children. Returning to the ‘fall schedule’ may be initially difficult, but starting early will help students get their “game on” for the new school year. Avoid waiting until the night before school to “get back into the fall” sleep schedule. Instead, try to stave off possible delays or problems by giving your family a head start. At least one week before school starts, try to get ready for bed 15 to 20 minutes earlier each evening, until you reach your target hour. During the year, getting up early can also avoid the stressful “missing the bus and being late in rush hour.” Starting early can make for a relaxed and comfortable start to the day for you, your family, and your student!

Let’s Talk! Talk to your child about worries, fears, or concerns they may have about the upcoming school year. Attempt to reframe these worries into “excitement, discovery, and challenges” that you can both work through. By anticipating or predicting “sticky” spots, you can help your student increase their ability to cope with uneasy or stressful social situations. Talk to your child about what they can do and find a way to build on their strengths. Ask your child what their hopes or goals are for the year. What are some responsibilities they would like to take on around the house? What do they expect from themselves in the classroom? How might they do that?

Look to the future. Once school is underway, providing your student with something to look forward to during the year can help ease much of the ‘humdrum” that can set in during the year. Having something to look forward too, such as a school event, a classroom activity, as well as a school break or holiday can serve as pick-me-ups and motivators throughout the year. For example, celebrating the end of the first month of the school year, and anticipating the next holiday (e.g., Halloween, or Thanksgiving break) can help break up the year and help students keep with the passage of time.

Acknowledge neutral and positive behavior to get the best from your student. Rely on positive reinforcement to get your child excited about learning again. Focus on what you want your child to be doing  – not what you don’t want them to be doing. For example, praise or acknowledge your child after putting their shoes away, or getting a book out to read instead of chiding them for not putting their things away or doing their work. Be as specific as you can when you recognize your child doing something well instead of offering global praise, for example, “It looks like you were concentrating really hard on getting your spelling list out and starting your school work – you didn’t even need me to remind you! That’s great! How did you do that?” Acknowledging your student helps them to capitalize on the feelings it brings to them when they do something (e.g., how did it feel to get this all done?). Try to use external rewards like trinkets, treats, or other material rewards sparingly. This may help to avoid students relying on something outside of themselves to get them motivated to do something they might otherwise find interesting, challenging, or somewhat enjoyable. Ask your child what might be interesting or challenging about a seemingly boring or difficult task, and reinforce their effort and motivation to preserve even when it does get less interesting. Listen to how they are thinking about the task and what helped them get through it.

Fake it until they make it. Homework may not be your idea of fun but getting excited about doing homework may be an important motivator to your child. Show enthusiasm for what they are learning…even if you can’t recognize the math! Model curiosity, inquisitiveness, and excitement about what they are doing in school and bringing home.

Seek balance. Families and their students can get caught up in the activities and events of the year, but remember to help your family maintain a healthy balance of work and play along with family time.

Staying healthy and limiting TV, online time, and gaming. Several Michigan schools have made significant changes in their dietary offerings in the school meal selection, from fried foods to baked, and offering greater choice and variety of fresh fruits and vegetables. Families too, can encourage healthier food choices by giving kids healthy foods in funny shapes or having kids pick out at least one veggie or fruit to pack for lunch. Encourage physical activity –  walks, outdoor play, or supervised play in parks. Avoid too much TV, video games, and computer time, which can have negative influences on your student’s learning and development. Encourage their use sparingly and get to know what your kids are watching on TV, doing on the computer, and playing on the game station.

More on Getting Back to School – There are several websites devoted to Back to School topics and school readiness for young children. Below is a list of resources and research reports on school readiness posted by the National Council on Family Relations, a national organization dedicated to research and practice for family life development.

• The U.S. Department of Education has tips for parents on getting children ready to attend school.
• North Dakota State University Extension has a new school readiness program “Gearing up for Kindergarten.”  This video describes the program and shows all the fun and education that parents and children can have together while preparing for school.
• The U.S. Department of Education has  a booklet on School Success for your Child, Homework tips for parents, and Tips for helping children read.
• From the Michigan Department of Education, Family and Community Involvement, Back to school motor and bus safety and Get Ready for School.

Mental Health America has produced two new empowering brochures to address teen stress and depression. Created with input from parents, youth and advocates, these brochures provides readers with effective tips, strategies, and resources to help a youth in crisis.

Teen Stress and Depression: Guide for Teens combines teen stress and depression into one comprehensive brochure. It discusses symptoms, potential causes, offers an action plan and ways to seek help.

Teen Stress and Depression: A Guide for Parents is the adult companion to the teen guide to help parents understand and support a teen in “stress overload” and to help parents learn more about the signs of depression, possible causes, and how to get help for their child.

For more information and to order copies, call 1-800-969-6642, ext. 7537.

With help from families, providers, and the community, young children can demonstrate resilience when dealing with trauma. Visit Childhood Trauma’s Impact on a Child’s Developing Brain to learn more.

What helps?

• Parental resilience
• Social connections
• Knowledge of parenting and child development
• Concrete support in times of need
• Social and emotional competence of children

Children exposed to 5+ significant adversities in the first 3 years face a 76% likelihood of having one or more delays in their development. Learn more about childhood trauma’s impact at http://bit.ly/ik4yas and pass it on to observe National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day.

Parents and family members are usually the first to notice if a child has problems with emotions or behavior. Your observations, along with those of teachers and other caregivers, may lead you to seek help for your child. If you suspect a problem or have questions, consult your pediatrician or contact a mental health professional.

Fear & Anxiety

Signs of Fear

Where to Seek Help

*Karoly, L.A., Kilburn, M.R., and Cannon, J.S. (2005). Early childhood interventions: Proven results, future promise. Arlington, VA: RAND Corporation.

As the parent of a child with serious emotional issues, I feel like I am forever seeking out different resources to try to help him and our family through our daily struggles.  The idea of a system of care where all groups work together would be so beneficial.  As I explained to the commissioners, my hopes and dreams for my son are very basic. In fact, I spend many sleepless nights wondering, “Who will take care of my son? Who will make sure he is okay as an adult? How will he support himself? Who will be his friend? Where will he live, who will protect him?,” etc., etc.  If all agencies involved could come together, brainstorm, and circle our family with support, it seems we could cover more areas that are possibly being missed by jumping from agency to agency, etc.  I’m sure we could address more issues and find more resources.

The Crawford County Commissioners were very interested in the system of care as well as the struggles families have that are parents of children with disabilities. They were supportive of CMH, and wanted to help move forward to find as many resources as possible.  By attending this meeting with my son, I feel it gave the commissioners a sample of an actual family that desperately needs the support CMH gives and I feel they also realized that there is always more that can be done to help families.  CMH explained they are constantly trying to find ways to do more for families and I think it was an eye opener for the commissioners.  I appreciate the opportunity to attend this meeting, and I appreciate the support I receive from CMH.

When Mary Hubbard asked me if I would like to speak as a parent representative at the County Commissioners’ meeting, concerning Children’s System of Care, I felt honored. I feel with all my heart that the System of Care will help so many families on such a new level. Families will no longer feel they need to defend their child’s behavior but be empowered by such a huge network of help right at their fingertips. They will have the help of so many other parents and members of the community to enable them to cope with the daily rigors of raising a child with a severe emotional disability. I wanted the Commissioners to understand how important this program is, but I also wanted to let them know how much NLCMH and the people that work there have changed my children’s lives for the better. I wanted them to understand how dedicated NLCMH already is to improving lives.

My daughter works with Maria Kaniszewski (Home Based Therapist), and my daughter said to me that because Maria and I keep working with her and keep trying new things with her to help her, she feels loved. Maria taught her to rub her hands together whenever she felt like peeling her skin. Now my daughter’s face, arms and legs are healed and she looks as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside. I cannot even begin to express my gratitude at all the times Christine Lee (Case Manager) and Maria have come to my home at all hours of the day and evening to help me with a crisis with one of the children during one of their meltdowns. They helped everyone in the household, including the teens, and made us all better able to cope and gave us lifelong skills to handle crisis situations. I feel with System of Care, families get this help even faster and work as an active participant and partner in their child’s care.

I do not believe there can be anything more empowering than that.

Time seems to creep by, and now adulthood is just around the corner……

Recently, I was lucky enough to attend the “Successful School Transition” training in Lake City. This training focused on the very fulfilling and successful lives of some young adults/teens with developmental disabilities.

With the help of Community Living Supports and the focus on self-determination, these young adults have very rewarding and exciting lives!!  I had not even heard of self-determination. I honestly believed my son would spend his life working in a sheltered workshop or something similar.

Instead, self-determination helps us to “think outside the box” when it comes to making $. The “jobs” these people had ranged from shredding paper to talk show host. I was thrilled!  My son is an avid fisherman and absolutely loves to collect worms. I immediately envisioned him with his own “worm business.” Granted, these incomes are not making these people millionaires; however, they are helping them to create a supplemental income and promoting self-confidence, etc.

I walked away from that conference without so much concern/dread/hopelessness over my son’s future.  I have learned that he may live a very fulfilling life doing what he likes to do with support.

It has changed my way of thinking and I am so glad I attended.

Signed,
A parent of 15-year-old son with serious emotional problems and disabilities