The Best Way Out is Through | The Best Way Out is Always Through Movie.

“We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is twice as hard as talking.”

Coping skills can vary from person to person. A tool that one person may find helpful may be found obtrusive by someone else (for example, smoking). Lately a lot of rough times have been coming my way and so many people have been commenting on my wellness that it’s made me at least try to forget about my troubles. I update my coping skills that are in my WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) toolbox on a weekly basis because I seem to find something new, and/or need to remove something that might not have helped as much as I thought it would.

Personally speaking, one thing I have learned over the past week is that I need to give myself credit. By paying close attention to what you do, you can learn to give yourself credit for even the smallest accomplishments. Each accomplishment will add to your optimism and self-esteem.

I started talking about how I finally moved into my own house after almost two years with my parents, how I was getting more involved with advocating for myself and others because one of my bosses told me I don’t speak up enough (imagine that, right?), how I had gone to various trainings and become a Master Personal Action Towards Health Facilitator Trainer, how I had slowly paid off a debt because of a few great friends helping me create a budget to live on, and many other things. I didn’t realize that I had accomplished so many things. Those are all positive things created from negative things that happened in my life.

We’ve all been to conferences or trainings where someone has talked about changing negative thoughts into positive ones, but have we actually put that into action in our lives, not just with thoughts but actions? I’m grateful to have had this chance to talk to this person who I still consider a great friend because without him knowing it, he helped me even more with my own personal positive change efforts.

Who am I and what do I want to become? What are my goals and how am I going to get there? And lastly, how can I continue to grow and change? I’m forever grateful to him for making me realize how far I’ve come and I suggest that we all sit down and make some plans to put into action. Change is a hard thing to do, but in the long run, it creates a better us, a better me, and a better culture to live in.

Respectfully yours,

Mary Beth Evans, CPSS and Recovery Coordinator (and just me)

“More than just a series, it’s a multi-platform outreach campaign extending over the next two years to create awareness, understanding and solutions surrounding emotional well-being. This is a unique opportunity to leverage the power of media to affect societal change — in this case, in the area of mental health and emotional well-being.”

The series explores ways to improve our social relationships, cope with emotional issues, and become more positive, resilient individuals.

We encourage you to explore the links in this post for more information – watch the shows, sign up to be part of the ongoing community of information. You can be part of a groundbreaking campaign to connect people with information, and also to connect people with peer support that is so key to emotional wellness!

I’ve heard from people recently that dreaming has meanings: that there are books, encyclopedias, therapy sessions, just about everything imaginable, on how to interpret dreams. What if these dreams are helping you? What if they scare you? What if you want to know why you are dreaming certain things? Is the age old theory real that you dream about the last thing you think about before you fall asleep?

Since I myself have been having some pretty vivid dreams lately, I decided that that I would start writing them down. I thought maybe in order to develop a better understanding of my dreams that I would begin to make an effort to keep a dream journal. Nothing too extensive or expensive. When I wake up, I write down the most prevalent symbols, colors and events that I can remember. Then I try to remember, the best I can, the mood of the dream or my feeling(s) in it. I’ve heard people say this before, but essentially, I’m creating my very own personal dream dictionary to help myself understand the dreams I’m having.

Just food for thought. It’s an inexpensive way to get my thoughts from my dreams out on paper and help myself self-manage one small part of my life by owning my own thoughts through dreams.

So how do you not let time be your manager? Everywhere I turn these days, I find books, videos and articles surrounding me about how to manage my time in better manners. There are certainly benefits to all the age-old concepts of time management: blocking specific times for specific tasks, securing times for the most important things, daily routine, etc. But there can be downfalls to letting time be the master of your day. It can limit how long you will be focusing on something before it forcibly moves you to the next thing.

So what should I do? In my personal life I’ve tried to let my objective be my master and make time the measuring stick for how much more efficiently I can get things done. Sounds backwards I know, but isn’t it best to always finish the most important things to do, not to just assign them a time slot and hope for the best?

During these stressful holiday times, it’s always best to take a step back, take a deep breath, and realize that even if I don’t get something done during the time I have scheduled for it, if I take an extra five minutes to make sure that it’s done to the best of my ability, it’s worthwhile in the end.

What is a human journey? The human journey is a trip we all must take. It only matters to the individual how this trip is taken or where it is going. Along the way we meet up with both positive and negative influences that sometimes leaves a lasting impression on our lives; this is where the journey gets interesting. Life is the passenger and time is the vehicle that carries us on this journey with perfection as our destination.

If a person sits in front of a television and all that they do is flip through the channels until they go on to glory, then that was their human journey, what their legacy would be. Maybe they tried to live their life out in the open once and got so hurt that all they could do was to sit in front of the TV. Maybe that was what made them happy, maybe that was how they felt safe. They might have had their favorite shows and a scheme to their channel surfing, they might have made their favorite foods at a certain time – but even if all that they appeared to be doing was sitting in front of the TV their whole life, they perfected that life and that individual did not miss the human journey.

We will be hurt, we will be harmed, we will be preyed upon, deceived and schemed on, and sometimes bad health will befall us or a loved one, not to mention accidents and injustice, and it will seem unfair. Sometimes we will become broken vessels and we need to be mended. Where do we go? To the doctors? To the hospitals? To the therapist? Yes, these resources are very good and should be used as prescribed. The healing begins.

Should we sit alone in a dark room with only the TV to comfort us while we heal? That might be good for the first day or so, because rest is the basic component for the healing process. It’s to secure and confine the wound and isolate from the elements and support the wound so that it can rest and mend properly.

But what’s the next step? Do we just stay in the dark or do we get back out there?

I like the daytime, I like being in the sun and the wind, I like seeing the seasons change, feeling the rain on my face and watching the rivers flow. I like seeing people everyday, I like flowers and watching the children play in the park. I want to be an active part in all the positive things about this world. But how do I go about doing that when I could get hurt again and I’m already hurt from the last time? What do I do? I’m afraid.

We must come out of ourselves and humble ourselves before something greater than ourselves. We must return to the universal laws of greater love, inner peace, and trust, we must experience compassion with one another and practice charity freely. We must forgive and let go. We must free ourselves and others and live the best way that we can, through joy.

Not holding on to old hates and disappointment, the human journey is about pushing past the point of conflict to reach perfection. With our song, dance, our homes and gardens, our children, our relationships – by expressing our lives through our artwork no matter what form it comes in.

Northern Lakes CMH has done a tremendous job with creating and sustaining recovery groups and projects throughout each of its six counties. Two years ago, we created the To See What I See: The Stigma of Mental Illness video documentary with the help of Dr. Mary Pierce from Northwestern Michigan College and Jeff Morgan of Prometheus Motion Pictures. On the inside cover it reads:

“One in five Americans have a diagnosable mental illness. The lucky ones will have supportive family and friends as well as the financial resources to get the help that they need. Unfortunately, many will not seek treatment partly because of the stigma of having a mental illness, or they may get help but face disrespect and discrimination at home, work or in the community. We look forward to the day when we will see communities of informed, caring people living and working together. With your help, that day will come soon.”

Although resources such as this documentary are available to help inform the community of what a mental illness is, when I went to our local library not long ago and checked their database for Mental Illness, the search came back with nothing. Then I checked for Mental Health…nothing again. Mental Disorders, Mental Health Recovery, Mental Health, ANYTHING…nothing was there.

I know we live in small communities, but this bothered me more than a little bit because how can anyone have any concept of what we [Northern Lakes] stand for if that information isn’t available except where we [Northern Lakes] put it?

I thought about the documentary I mentioned above and went back to my office and got an extra copy I had. I called the library and asked for their head librarian. She made an appointment with me so that I could take in a few samples of our photobiographies and the copy of the documentary for her to review. I collected as much information as I could, then headed out a few days later for that scheduled appointment.

When I arrived, one of the library staff told the head librarian that I was there to meet with her for our appointment regarding mental health and the recovery efforts we were undergoing at Northern Lakes. The librarian looked at me, hands full of photobiographies and resources, and said she didn’t have time to meet with me today – even though we had a scheduled appointment. I followed her into her office and began talking. I told her that because she was the best way to get ANY information out to the small community we lived in that she should hear what I had to say. She again told me that she didn’t have time and started walking away from me in a different direction out of her office. I again followed her. I started talking about the documentary (of which I had brought a copy for her to view and keep to add to their resources) and how it impacted my life not only as a mental health consumer but as a staff member at Northern Lakes as well. I continued on to tell her it made me think a lot about how we strive at Northern Lakes to be integrated into, and not segregated from, the community. I told her that by walking away from learning about mental health recovery, she was not being integrating at all but segregating. She stopped, turned around, then said, “Please come back to my office.”  I followed her and began telling her about my story as a mental health consumer. I explained the wonderful photobiographies that the consumers had created. I even went so far as to show her on her computer my own personal recovery journey on this Virtual Recovery Center blog.

She sat quietly and read the entire thing before she spoke again. The next words out of her mouth were “I’m sorry.”  I told her that she had no reason to be sorry because I personally knew what recovery meant to me as well as the meaning of mental health. However, she should be sorry for the folks who come into her library looking for help and answers about how to get services but can find nothing in their system. She agreed, took the documentary and viewed it with tears streaming down her face. I also handed her a copy of the movie “Canvas” starring Joe Pantoliano, Marcia Gay Harden and Devon Gearhart and asked her to view that as well and decide if that was a good enough start to a mental health resource area. She said she’d view it then call me.

Only ONE day went by before I received a phone call from the librarian. She called to tell me that both the documentary and the movie “Canvas” were in their database now and that she would be doing some research on how to make information about mental health diagnoses as well as other mental health related topics more available at her library.

Two weeks passed and I went back into that same library knowing that the head librarian was not there. I went on one of their computers and looked up Mental Health Recovery and there were 115 hits! Research papers, statistics, coping skills, diagnosis information, you name it. They had either purchased a book or copied a link of how to find more information on the topic.

I just want everyone to be aware that not all people in our communities have knowledge about what mental illnesses are. Here was a very knowledgeable person with a degree in research as a librarian who didn’t know squat about what being diagnosed meant. I appreciate that she took the time to listen, learn, and HELP. I’m on a mission to this day to go to all six of our counties’ libraries to see if they have information available to those who might be too scared to ask but want to try to learn through self-help material about why they are so depressed and/or upset.

My BIGGEST hope, though, is that if you’re reading this, you’ll continue on your path of recovery and educate someone who doesn’t know about mental health related issues. Tell them how far you’ve come. Ask them for their opinions and advice. Because like the Northern Lakes vision included on the inside cover of the documentary says: We look forward to the day when we will see “COMMUNITIES of INFORMED, CARING people LIVING and WORKING TOGETHER.” And of course, “With YOUR help, that day will come SOON!”  Good luck and happy educating.