The last time I shared my story, I talked about some of my childhood experiences, my illness, where I lived, and the things I like. I still like my peace signs for they represent the peace, love and happiness I seek all my days of my life. And with depression this is hard to find sometimes. Doing a lot of self talk and going to groups and stuff helps me a lot.

Since the last time I shared my story, a lot of positive things have happened. I moved from a very small apartment to a bigger apartment down the street. I love it. I have a boyfriend and he has been a great help with me and my depression for he does not judge me, but tries hard to be understanding. Three of my grandchildren who were out of my life for many years are back!

It has taken a lot of hard work to get here, but being patient has been the hardest thing! I still have days where I feel like I am going to fall into the bottom of the pit for no reason. That is part of my illness. When this happens I try real hard to think of all the good things in my life. I’m not saying it is easy, but anything worthwhile isn’t always easy.  It is still very hard for me some days, but what I learned is that I have to force myself to do things sometimes and, most of the time after I do, I feel good that I did.

Number one – never give up! A lot of folks do not understand depression and how hard it is to struggle just to get out of bed even when from the outside things look fine. Even my kids don’t get how being depressed makes you feel even if things around you seem fine. With me, I learned to put a front on so that one knows how I am really feeling. I may seem fine, but feel horrible inside. But I love my friends and family and I need to carry on for them. So fight is what I must do. I may fall, but the main thing is to pick myself up and start all over again and again. And the main thing is to be patient and tell yourself this too will pass over and over and in time it does for a while. Never give up the fight!

Love of our friends and family, have peace in your heart, and to be happy, is all worth fighting for! I was lonely for a long time before my boyfriend came and even with him sometimes I feel alone, but I am not. There was lot of pain when my grandchildren were gone. With the grace of God they are back and they now have to learn all about patience too! And not to give up!  We have to fight for things worth having like family and friends and life in general.

Peace, love, and happiness to all.

Though the mania of my mental affliction destroyed many relationships and inroads to employment, my bouts of sanity led to some positive efforts and results. Like when I evangelized to approximately 100 young teens on the near west side of Grand Rapids – my hometown. Even in Cadillac – my “new town” as of July, 2010 – I felt good enough that summer to “witness” to select others.

The winter to follow was horrible and resulted in my isolation which I took responsibility for when I signed into a group home beginning March 1, 2012. I agreed to stay two months; with warmer weather I projected my depression would lift and that I could go about finding lodging in downtown Cadillac. Being in the structure of a group home and having a friendship with Art who got me out of my country-located shared housing facility would enable me, once again – as it has happened over and over again – to lighten my mood.

Thank God for good, understanding relationships.

Lansing State Journal with great pictures, including our Crawford Representatives:  http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/article/20120510/NEWS01/305100028

A great story at ABC News: http://www.abc12.com/story/18246092/mental-health-advocates-participate-in-walk

Another great story, showing our Roscommon Representatives on the capitol steps, on Channel WLNS –  http://www.wlns.com/story/18247269/state-mental-health-agencies-hold-walk-a-mile-in-my-shoes-rally

Mary Beth Evans, our NLCMH Recovery Coordinator, was an excellent MC. Give her a microphone and she is a natural at pumping up a large group!

This year there was the special Mental Health America bell at the rally. This bell was made from the melted down shackles which used to restrain patients with mental illness in old state hospitals. It turns something very dark into into a symbol of hope.

Everyone did such a great job speaking their statement into the microphone on the Capitol steps.

Crawford – Working on recovery and a life of health and wellness is my journey that takes time and daily work. With the coping skills support and tools I’ve learned, my life can be much happier. I have walked this road and understand how I can help others who are living with a mental illness. Learning to accept responsibility for my Illness gives me strength and determination. Walk A Mile In My Shoes!

Grand Traverse – Stigma is the wall that people have to walk through in order to reach for recovery. End stigma and discrimination. Walk A Mile In My Shoes!

Leelanau – In Leelanau County, and all across the whole country, our veterans need help. Help with mental health treatment, affordable housing, and support. Let’s remember to support our veterans… Walk A Mile In My Shoes!

Missaukee – Sometimes the biggest hills we climb aren’t always the ones that we can see. For some people, life’s obstacles can seem more like mountains. People with mental illness need support and compassion. Understanding is everything! Walk A Mile In My Shoes!

Roscommon – One in five people have a mental illness that can keep us from the quality of life we deserve. Certified Peer Support Specialists are part of the solution and I’m proud to be one of them! Walk A Mile In My Shoes!

Wexford – Mental illness can knock you down pretty hard. The world would say we are too weak and should stay put. It takes strength to get back up, but when we do we are even stronger than we knew. Walk A Mile In My Shoes!

This year we were also able to go on a special tour of the Capitol building. No one in our group had been on a tour before and everyone was so impressed with the gorgeous architecture and artistry. We saw the Rotunda, the Governor’s Office, the original Supreme Court room, the House of Representatives and Senate floors, and more. It was very powerful to see where our state laws are made!

]]> http://northernlakescmh.com/blog/2012/05/10/walk-a-mile-in-my-shoes-rally-2012/feed/ 1 http://northernlakescmh.com/blog/2012/05/07/i-know-in-my-heart-that-man-is-good-that-what-is-right-will-eventually-triumph-and-there-is-purpose-and-worth-to-each-and-every-life-%e2%80%93-ronald-reagan/ http://northernlakescmh.com/blog/2012/05/07/i-know-in-my-heart-that-man-is-good-that-what-is-right-will-eventually-triumph-and-there-is-purpose-and-worth-to-each-and-every-life-%e2%80%93-ronald-reagan/#comments Mon, 07 May 2012 10:33:41 +0000 Northern Lakes CMH http://northernlakescmh.com/blog/?p=2241 http://northernlakescmh.com/blog/2012/05/07/i-know-in-my-heart-that-man-is-good-that-what-is-right-will-eventually-triumph-and-there-is-purpose-and-worth-to-each-and-every-life-%e2%80%93-ronald-reagan/feed/ 0 http://northernlakescmh.com/blog/2012/05/03/sue-my-story/ http://northernlakescmh.com/blog/2012/05/03/sue-my-story/#comments Thu, 03 May 2012 10:05:04 +0000 Northern Lakes CMH http://northernlakescmh.com/blog/?p=2414 I was born and raised in Chicago until I moved to Traverse City in 1985, right after high school. On November 27, 1985, I lost my father in a car accident. That’s when the depression started. I noticed the depression getting to me in 1996 when I lived in Antrim County. In June 1997 I had my last appointment at Antrim County CMH. What I was diagnosed with was depression with personality disorder. With the meds to help me control it, I was doing well with my depression for four years. In January 2001 my depression got worse again and I knew that something was wrong. I went to Northern Lakes CMH for services. I have great support with my treatments.

I am an outgoing, cheerful, inspired person. I know some people look at me like I don’t have a mental illness, because I am outgoing and doing things and especially because I have inspired others to do things for themselves. There are times that it’s hard for me because the depression will come out and I have to think good things. One of them is to get hold of my support team at CMH or another support team that I have outside of CMH.

What also helps me with my depression is enjoying two dogs and a cat that my roommates have, and also two birds and a fish tank. I have also taken up knitting. I have made a small blanket for one of the dogs and am making another blanket for my roommate and I’m enjoying that. I go for walks and just enjoy the outside when it’s nice out. I enjoy cooking and baking when I get a chance to do the baking.

I’m glad for that and for all the support I have from so many people like my great family, friends, roommates and my CMH support team. I have couldn’t ask for better support and I couldn’t ask for any better way to recovery.

I can see the brightness today, tomorrow, and in the future.

The most important thing that happened in my life was being adopted by my parents. I went from a bad environment to a new, more positive environment which was much better. It was more loving, caring, and I was better treated.

I grew up on a cherry farm. I grew up with one half sister who now lives in a different state and one adoptive brother who currently lives with my mom. My mom has always been my support person in my life. She has always stuck up for me from the get go. My dad was always a cherry farmer and a very stable person in my life. Every other weekend, my mom takes me for fun events. Some of the fun events we do are shopping, eating out, and taking road trips. At my AFC home we have wonderful, loving staff. We do several things, like playing card games. My favorite is Skip-Bo. We also play bingo and go on outings in the community. Sometimes I even go on outings by myself.

One of the things that is meaningful to me is my dog, Brandy, who is very playful, lovable, and enjoyable. In March of 2012, I started selling Avon. This has been a dream come true to me. Another one of my hopes and dreams is living on my own someday. I hope to live at Community Living Center (CLC) where many of my friends are living. CLC is a semi-independent place which trains you to get your own apartment.

Love is the eternal blessing of a fire that is everlasting.